Blogging the City Of Champions.  Burgh Sports and other randomness.  You never know. I certainly don't.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Someone Loves Us In Scranton

As found in today's Scranton Times-Tribune, by a writer only identified as dcollins@timesshamrock.com:

Pittsburgh’s farm system is peerless

It's a surprisingly (unrealistically?) upbeat look at the minor-league pitching in our farm system, purveying a general air of competence and confidence among the organization's talent developers. The current AAA corps of lefties (Gorzelanny, Burnett, Johnston, Grabow) is highlighted. Pirates minor league pitching coordinator Gary Ruby is quoted at length ... a bit of Googling ensues ... AHA, he's a native to the area, see this article from the same paper, down the page at the subhead titled "RUBY PROVES A GEM". Now I get it. (Warning: big-time spin in those quotes. Is he looking at the same minor-league system that I am?)

The first story's angle is that Scranton was disappointed when Pgh. renewed its AAA contract with Indy last year, and that the Scranton folks (or at least writer dcollins) hope that in two more years at the cessation of that contract, the team will finally relocate to Scranton. Complete the sweep of having all the upper-level clubs inside Keystone State borders, I suppose, and maybe some draft-effect with the Baby Penguins too.

Who woulda thunk it. If this Collins fellow stopped soft-tossing with his high-school buddy (my assumption) long enough to take a close personal look at the thinness of the minor league system BELOW our current AAA team, he might not be quite so enthusiastic.

As for talking about actual baseball games played by actual Pirates, I'm not going there. Nope.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Dizzy

60,000 RPMs' worth of spin here, making happy-happy about the upcoming All-Star Game and how and why it was obtained for PNC and Pittsburgh. Watch out if you're made easily queasy. Sure isn't how I remember things going down. Can you say, Whine and Wheedle and Throw A Tantrum? Sure you can.

I met Ed Eagle at Bradenton in early 2005, and he seems like a very nice fellow. I therefore give him the benefit of the doubt and choose to believe that he goes to the bathroom and washes his hands after he writes this kind of
tripe. I don't hold it against him personally (nobody eats for free), but I feel bad that his job forces him into such an unreal position of Pollyantic positivism. The Pirate website is useless for anything besides roster lists and box scores. Remember pirateball.com? No sense making that a clickable link, because it just punts back to the cookie-cutter homepage now. Wish I'd have cached a local copy of that site before it was assimilated into the MLBorg a few years ago. Pirateball had some personality.

This party-organ theme goes along with a comment I read somewhere recently (it was either a blog-comment at
HW or on the Pirates Mailing List, sorry that I forget the spot but I'll link to it if I relocate it), that the broadcast announcers were told to do a noticeably good job of projecting a positive attitude about the team's performance and future, even in light of facts to the contrary, or they'd find themselves looking for work. (Note that this was not a direct quote from an attributable source, so I cannot vouch for its veracity.) Frattare and Blass hardly need this sort of prompting, but I can only imagine how well that sits with Brown and especially Walk. I just can't put Wehner into this group, at least not yet. He's not a shameless shill like the Old Farts, but he isn't good enough at what he's doing to rank with the other two either.

Re last night's ridiculous loss to Arizona, I can only say this: I am not watching any more television games when Burnitz is playing. And if the ball's hit his way or he's up to bat, I'm turning off the radio too. A Burnitz Boycott. Enough is enough.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Aces And Eights

This is what happens when I'm not online enough to pay close attention. It dates from Friday 5/12, and I can't believe I missed it till now.

Season 3 may be the last season for Deadwood

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- The upcoming third season of HBO's "Deadwood" might mark the end of the dark Western.

The pay cable network has opted not to pick up the options of the actors on the show, releasing them to pursue other projects.

"Deadwood" creator David Milch is shifting his attention to "John From Cincinnati," a one-hour project he is writing for HBO. The surfing-themed drama has been ordered as a pilot, subject to finalizing deals on the financial and talent side.

HBO sources said there are conversations about the future of "Deadwood" beyond the third season, which premieres June 11. But with the actors moving on to other commitments, it is highly unlikely that all the main cast members would be available to do additional episodes in the future.

This is far more important to me at the moment than anything going on with the Sucking Pirates. Deadwood was the reason I signed up for HBO, and was the first TV series in decades that I actually scheduled my time to watch. (Since joined by The Sopranos and Rome, not coincidentally also HBO shows, all on at different times of year in the 9-10pm Sunday night timeslot, when nobody dares to phone me.) Deadwood was created by a brilliant scholar and poet, and its writing is nothing less than the 21st-century equivalent of Shakespeare, with cussing. I've always liked the blue language, if for no other reason than its function as an audience filter: anyone tetchy enough to be offended by the profanity is not worthy to watch the show in the first place.

There is a shitstorm all over the Deadwoodwideweb over this cancellation, but
here's a page with an hour-long podcast on it that pretty well sums it up, including interviews with some of the cast members who just got the ax.

Chris Albrecht, the CEO of HBO who made this decision, sounds like a gutless weasel in the same league as Jack McCall himself. The target of the 'gutless weasel' link (my term) is a post written on HBO's Deadwood message board by W. Earl Brown, who plays bartender Dan Dority on the show. So he is in a position to know something about his employer and its boss.

Damn, damn, damn. Heng Dai, Hoopleheads.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Tomorrow's Not Looking Good, Either

It's a rare occasion when I will post a link to this organization's non-statistical content.

Tough being a Pirate in a Steelers' Town
by Gene Wojciechowski

Sympathetic but not derisive, which is certainly not the status quo from NEYARSBN (Nearly Exclusively Yankees And RedSox Broadcasting Network).

Thanks to Lonely Cousin for the heads-up.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Look At Us Now

Motivational breakdown. Mine, I mean. Please call AAA, or maybe AAA, or AA, or even AA. I really apologize for teasing you with the hurricane thing and then not delivering. For me, blog-writing has to be done in the moment, or else it's no good. And right now it's just too hard to make time for it on a predictable basis, especially when the subject matter is so un-fun. Rowdy has had some of the same thoughts lately (see the end of his post), although he still seems to be hanging on by his fingernails. There are several other Pirate blogs listed in my sidebar that haven't been updated in a good while, so I am not alone. I have always promised myself that I wouldn't feel guilty if I didn't play with this toy as often as I would in a perfect world of copious free time, no hinky discs in my neck, and high-quality Pirate baseball. (I'm batting 0-fer on those right now.) I've turned down offers to join one or two of those cookie-cutter amalgamated sportsblog sites in the past, because I didn't want any external pressure. I'd feel like hell with a deadline, and it's better if I can just fall back on "you get what you pay for" as an excuse when necessary. You get what you pay for.

I'll humbly ask that you keep me in your bookmarks and poke the link whenever you feel curious, but please don't take it to heart if you don't see anything new on a regular basis. I really will write when I can. I enjoy this a lot in the opinion-and-feedback sense, but thank heavens it isn't real life.

Anyway, in order to quit meta-blogging and close with some more Leeeny Irony®, here's something that caught my eye today. For the last dozen years this has been sitting right under my very own eyeballs, holding Sharpies on my desk. Pretty amusing in light of everything that has and hasn't happened between 1994's All-Star Game and this year's.


Our Cartoon Manager



I love puns.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Hurricane Leeeny Update

It's still in word-doc form right now, but I'm working on it. I've got a guy from Pella coming to the house at 2:30 to nail down details for a five-digit-figure window replacement job at Casa Leeeny this summer, so my ranting time (and money) comes at a bit of a premium today. Plus, the physical cost (due to c-spine issues) of sitting here for as long as it takes to compose this sort of screed is what kept me off the computer all winter in the first place. Just imagine this happening to you repeatedly, except on the back of your head instead of the front. (Yeah, I know what paper that link connects to - just a bit of Leeeny Irony there.)

I will replace this non-post with the real one just as soon as I can. I am not letting this disaster blow over unblogged, even if we've already moved on to the next storm by the time I get finished.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Hurricane Warning

Prepare yourself for a spleen-vent of major proportions, coming sometime tomorrow to a blog very near you. I'm entirely too pissed off to do it now, and it would take too long if I started tonight. Even the insane whining of a petulant, spoiled, greedy, tax-pocketing, carpetbagging rich boy can't keep me from The Sopranos at 9:00.

Just you wait, though.

Go Call Your Mom



Mom and Little Leeeny, Lake Erie, 1960. Yes, that 1960. Notice how I'm already working on my changeup. And no, I didn't Photoshop it. It's
one of the rare color snapshots that far back in my childhood picture album. Happy Mother's Day to all of us Mothers.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Contract Hits

Tonight's game was a 4-3 loss to the Fish, about which I have nothing useful to say. I have a hard time paying sufficient attention when I am forced to listen to the Blassbag for an entire radio-only game. He lost me tonight when he was unable to cite Marlins pitcher Scott Olsen's hometown of Kalamazoo MI without immediately launching into how one of his minor-league roommates "really loved that song by Glenn Miller about the gal in Kalamazoo-zoo-zoo". Lord Have Mercy. This is merely the latest in an endless string of Blass's irrelevant old-fart digressions, which may appeal to the 0.0015% of his listening audience who personally landed at Omaha Beach, but which make the rest of us stick ball-point pens into our eardrums in order to dull the pain. Please don't misunderstand me: I don't dislike Blass as a person. He sounds like a wonderful man and a fabulous granddad (which is way big with me). He's probably the star of every backyard barbecue in Upper St. Clair. He helped us win the 1971 World Series, for which I will be forever grateful. I remember running into the middle of my street to jump around and hug my neighbor, even as Blass was jumping off the pitcher's mound and hugging Bob Robertson after the last out in Game 7. Heck, Blass even has a disease named after him, which is worth some pity if nothing else. He can have any lifelong front-office sinecure that the organization wants to give him - Fantasy Camp General Manager, Alumni Relations Director, Golf Cart Simonizer, I don't care. JUST GET HIM THE HELL OFF THE AIR! Madon'! Paulie Walnuts, will you please go suggest to this chiacchierone that he'd stay in much better condition to play with his grandkids if he retired from the home games too?

Okay. I have to rant about that occasionally. I was overdue. In compensation for your indulgence, here's a baseball-contract reference blog to bookmark, beside your Leeeny's Mien bookmark.


Cot's Baseball Contracts

The homepage has some excellent money-related quotations on it, but if you want to go directly to the Pirates' page, it's here. Gleanings: Littlefield, original contract 2002-2005, with extensions through 2008, no salary listed. Tracy, 3 years (2006-2008), $3.2 million. Plus what appears to be all of our major-league players (40-man roster?) and a smattering of the minor-leaguers. Even lists their agents.

These comments lead off the page:

Kevin McClatchy bought the Pirates for $92M in 1996.
Forbes magazine valued the club at $250M in April, 2006.

2006 Opening Day payroll (25-man roster): $46,717,750.

I will presume that you know how to calculate percentages for yourself.

Poor Raymond Madia

935-6438. I'll leave the area code off, to avoid making it any easier for anyone to prank this guy. I bet his phone was ringing off the hook in Wexford last night. Here's the video clip for Burnitz's rally-killing two-RBI-single double-rundown double-play from last night's game (scored 9-3-5-6-4-3-8, hence the phone number). You might have to click on the "Marlins turn rundown DP" link at the lower right of that page to start the DP clip. The Marlins out-inepted us and we won the game 12-9; it was not a pretty sight. Here's Dejan K's accident report.

Mr. Madia, if you happen to read this and you don't like your name or number being posted, just leave me a comment and I'll pull them down immediately, although in my own defense I found you via freely available information (here), and my little blog isn't exactly the men's-room wall at Grand Central Station. Neither am I monitoring your calls.

This whole phone-number thing made me think of that 1981 Tommy Tutone song, "867-5309", which is now trapped inside my head on auto-replay, worse than "It's A Small World After All". The Pirates can bring the pain on so many levels...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Oh, The Humanity

There is one out in the top of the first, and we're already behind 5-0 to the Squids. Four of the seven hits against Santos so far have been doubles. Vogelsong is throwing hard in the bullpen.

Let me repeat. Top of the first inning, one out, and a 5-run deficit to the only team in the majors that has a worse record than our own (for the next couple of hours anyway).

Watching or listening to this stuff is like rubbernecking across the medial strip at a multi-car pileup with wreckage and bodies strewn all over the asphalt. (I am not trying to make light of traffic accidents, it's just a simile.) There's no other sense of suspense - you can't call it entertainment - to be had from this futility. Just tune in to the daily crunch of the twisting metal, and wait to see if some ironically amusing negative records get set by the end of the season. Or sooner, at our present rate of anti-performance. Your Tax Dollars At Work. Ka-ching!

On the bright side, Jeromy "Don't Spell Me Jeremy" Burnitz has publicly apologized for his egregious suckitude. Gee, that helps.

.....update, 8:45pm..... Okay, the blind squirrel found an acorn, it can happen once in a while. We caught up and went ahead, currently 8-5 after 5. But in the bottom of the fourth with two runs in, bases loaded and one out, Burnitz hits into what scores two more but also becomes an inning-ending double-rundown double-play, catching both Craiggers between 2nd and 3rd, and Jeromy Hustle himself between 1st and 2nd. The play was scored, and I kid you not, 9-3-5-6-4-3-8. That is so close to DogBoy's cell-phone number, it's spooky. You can't make this stuff up.

Don't Get Fooled Again

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.




Geek Note: I've never used a
YouTube clip before, so it's a bit of an experiment. Please leave a comment if it doesn't work for you. I believe you need Flash enabled in your browser for the video to display and run.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Help Me, Obi-Wan

I feel like the little hologram of Princess Leia projecting out of R2-D2, begging Alec Guinness to come out of hiding and save the galaxy from total domination by the malignant Empire.

Smizik: Desperate Pirates Sinking

The one photon of Hawking radiation trying to escape from this particular black hole is Smizik's statement that:

There is reason to believe the Pirates might soon be on the market. Kevin McClatchy has hinted he might want to sell after the All-Star Game.

From your typewriter to God's Ear, Bob. My wish for this to happen has brought me as close as I've ever been to running one of those Novena To Saint Jude, Helper Of The Hopeless ads in the newspaper classifieds. Has Never Been Known To Fail. Maybe I should run it in the Sacramento Bee.
And I'm not even Catholic.

But you need to read Smizik's whole article to put the quotation into its properly depressing context. Here's the dilemma: If the ballteam doesn't win (first), there won't be anyone for the McNuttlefields to sell to, yet if the McNuttlefields don't sell (first), there won't be any winning. This is the chicken-and-egg problem from Davy Jones's Locker. And I will posit a further complication: that if the team did start winning, any vaporous hint of a For Sale sign along General Robinson Street would disappear anyway.

Someone, anyone, please, please get those plans for the Death Star out of the little droid, find the weakness, and blast that thing into cosmic debris. You're my only hope.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

How We're Losing, Generally

The records which follow below are from the notes I've been making on the printed schedule I have taped to the back of my kitchen door. My descriptions of how we won or lost are very basic, as I don't have space on the calendar to write a lot of detail in the little squares. For that you can always find the box scores on the Internets. As an example of my notation, in last night's 12-inning loss to the Mets we had a 1-0 lead for only half the first inning, then fell behind, then got back to a tie, then blew the tie and lost. But I still count that as 'blew a lead' because at SOME point we had a lead.

@MIL
4/03: L 5-2, blew a lead
4/04: L 7-5, blew a lead
4/05: L 3-2, blew a lead

@CIN
4/06: L 6-5, behind whole game
4/07: L 7-6, behind whole game
4/08: L 11-9, behind whole game
4/09: W 5-3, ahead whole game

LA
4/10: L 8-3, behind whole game
4/11: W 7-6, came from behind
4/12: W 9-5, came from behind
4/13: L 13-5, blew a lead

CHI
4/14: L 11-6, behind whole game
4/15: W 2-1, ahead whole game
4/16: L 7-3, behind whole game

STL
4/17: L 2-1, behind whole game
4/18: W 12-4, ahead whole game
4/19: L 4-0, behind whole game

@HOU
4/21: L 3-2, behind whole game
4/22: L 3-0, behind whole game
4/23: L 7-2, behind whole game

@STL
4/24: L 7-2, behind whole game
4/15: L 6-3, blew a lead
4/26: L 4-3, blew a tie

PHI
4/28: W 3-1, ahead whole game
4/29: W 3-2, ahead whole game
4/30: L 5-1, behind whole game

@CHI
5/01: L 2-1, behind whole game
5/02: W 8-0, ahead whole game

@NYM
5/03: L 4-3 12in, blew a lead

With 29 games played, we are 8-21 (I won't even talk standings), with a 3-8 record in one-run games, and a 5-10 record in games of two or one runs' difference. I also find it noteworthy to see how many of the games we've been either ahead or behind for the entire game. 14 games we were behind the whole game, 6 games ahead the whole game, accounting for 20 out of the 29 games. Early momentum and scoring-first looks to be highly predictive, with not a lot of lead-seesawing going on. There have been no games at all where we were ahead, then blew the lead, then came back to win anyway. I made a symbol to use for that situation, and I haven't used it yet. Why would you think that is? Inexperienced young players? Lack of mental toughness to overcome adversity? Poor tactics? Or just plain old suckage?