Sunday, February 22, 2009
The Oscars: Acorns For A Blind Squirrel
I HATE award shows. Stupid mutual-admiration-society full of navel-gazing posterior-kissers, feeding our stupid celebrity-worshiping culture. A parasite that feeds off itself as well as off of those of us out here in the real world. I can respect acting as an artistic endeavor, but the whole Hollywood thing is just... stupid.
Despite this antipathy, I always get a wee bit curious on Oscar night. Yes, it's hypocritical, I can't justify that. But I do NOT subject myself to the dreck of the actual television show. I don't give a rip about Hugh Jackman's top-hat, nor designer dresses on anorexic starlets. Instead, I'm watching the results roll in at the NYTimes website's "Carpetbagger" blog, complete with an interactive ballot that I filled out just before the 7:30pm deadline.
So far I am 4 for 8. Before you make any judgments on whether that's a good or bad performance (not all the precincts have reported yet; I'll update this post once all the envelopes have been opened), it should be noted in boldface that the only movies I've seen out of the entire crop of nominated films are The Dark Knight and WALL-E. So nearly all my guessing is being done blindfolded, so to speak. I almost never go to theaters anymore. I hate paying far too much money to sit uncomfortably (and without a pause button) amongst the noisy and ill-behaved general public. I'm sure I'll Netflix a few of these flix once they're out on DVD.
I think there's a point to be made here. I'm not quite sure what it is.
Addendum, 10:08pm... 7 for 11 so far. Heath Ledger for supporting actor was a sentimental no-brainer. The NYTimes guy (David Carr) is 9 for 11, and he's seen all the movies.
10:40pm... I'm 9 for 17 now, not quite as impressive but still not too shabby for a blind squirrel. Even with the TV off, you can tell when the commercial breaks occur, because of the long gaps in the live-results updating.
11:05pm... 9 for 19, with 5 awards left to go. I pretty much gave away my best-song vote by picking WALL-E's "Down To Earth" over the rolling juggernaut of Slumdog Millionaire's "Jai Ho". Peter Gabriel wrote the WALL-E song and I am a major Gabriel/Genesis fan going way back to the days of the red dress and fox head. Academy be damned, I think I picked the better song. Not even close.
11:54pm... final tally, 11 for 24. I'd have hit .500 if Sean Penn hadn't beaten out Mickey Rourke for best actor. If you aren't grading on a curve it's a flunkout, but considering the nature of the experiment, I'll take 46% as a decent outcome. Looks like I'll have to get Slumdog onto the top of my Netflix queue, even though I've read criticism over how it 'beautifies' the abject poverty in the Mumbai slums. Plus, I hate television game/reality shows (or movies about them) at least as much as I hate awards shows. Another stupid product of our stupid culture.
Despite this antipathy, I always get a wee bit curious on Oscar night. Yes, it's hypocritical, I can't justify that. But I do NOT subject myself to the dreck of the actual television show. I don't give a rip about Hugh Jackman's top-hat, nor designer dresses on anorexic starlets. Instead, I'm watching the results roll in at the NYTimes website's "Carpetbagger" blog, complete with an interactive ballot that I filled out just before the 7:30pm deadline.
So far I am 4 for 8. Before you make any judgments on whether that's a good or bad performance (not all the precincts have reported yet; I'll update this post once all the envelopes have been opened), it should be noted in boldface that the only movies I've seen out of the entire crop of nominated films are The Dark Knight and WALL-E. So nearly all my guessing is being done blindfolded, so to speak. I almost never go to theaters anymore. I hate paying far too much money to sit uncomfortably (and without a pause button) amongst the noisy and ill-behaved general public. I'm sure I'll Netflix a few of these flix once they're out on DVD.
I think there's a point to be made here. I'm not quite sure what it is.
Addendum, 10:08pm... 7 for 11 so far. Heath Ledger for supporting actor was a sentimental no-brainer. The NYTimes guy (David Carr) is 9 for 11, and he's seen all the movies.
10:40pm... I'm 9 for 17 now, not quite as impressive but still not too shabby for a blind squirrel. Even with the TV off, you can tell when the commercial breaks occur, because of the long gaps in the live-results updating.
11:05pm... 9 for 19, with 5 awards left to go. I pretty much gave away my best-song vote by picking WALL-E's "Down To Earth" over the rolling juggernaut of Slumdog Millionaire's "Jai Ho". Peter Gabriel wrote the WALL-E song and I am a major Gabriel/Genesis fan going way back to the days of the red dress and fox head. Academy be damned, I think I picked the better song. Not even close.
11:54pm... final tally, 11 for 24. I'd have hit .500 if Sean Penn hadn't beaten out Mickey Rourke for best actor. If you aren't grading on a curve it's a flunkout, but considering the nature of the experiment, I'll take 46% as a decent outcome. Looks like I'll have to get Slumdog onto the top of my Netflix queue, even though I've read criticism over how it 'beautifies' the abject poverty in the Mumbai slums. Plus, I hate television game/reality shows (or movies about them) at least as much as I hate awards shows. Another stupid product of our stupid culture.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Pirates Futility Poll
I've recovered from the Super Bowl and its inevitable post-celebratory hangover. I've never suffered much from football withdrawal, but this might be a first since it's so clear that there's no damn thing to take its place for the next half-year. Hockey's okay (Pens having a tough go of it right now), NBA sucks beyond belief, NCAA tourney is endurable if one of my teams is in it. Not much to choose from.
Normally I'm jumped up about Pitchers And Catchers, and in years past we were even planning one of our trips to Bradenton about now. This year, not so much.
But to try to squeeze some sort of ersatz entertainment from the approach of another Season Of Suckage at PNC Park, I am going to take bets on when you think the Pirates will be mathematically eliminated from the 2009 pennant race. Post in the comments with your guess for the date. As of the end of games on that day, we will be officially Out Of It. And as a tie-breaker, also please put down your guess as to our win-loss record on that date.
I'll come up with a prize for the winner.
Normally I'm jumped up about Pitchers And Catchers, and in years past we were even planning one of our trips to Bradenton about now. This year, not so much.
But to try to squeeze some sort of ersatz entertainment from the approach of another Season Of Suckage at PNC Park, I am going to take bets on when you think the Pirates will be mathematically eliminated from the 2009 pennant race. Post in the comments with your guess for the date. As of the end of games on that day, we will be officially Out Of It. And as a tie-breaker, also please put down your guess as to our win-loss record on that date.
I'll come up with a prize for the winner.
Friday, February 06, 2009
The Curse Of The Terrible Towel
An Object Lesson for Towel-Disrespecters. See also: Santayana's Aphorism on Repetitive Consequences.
Before we start, class, please review this story at the New York Times, so that you fully understand the Karma behind the Terrible Towel.
For Terrible Towels, A Wonderful Legacy
by John Branch
▪ September 2008: Ravens receiver Derrick Mason stomped on a Towel before a Week 4 matchup televised on Monday Night Football. Baltimore lost all three of its 2008-season games against Pittsburgh, including the AFC championship game, where the Steelers earned their berth to Super Bowl XLIII.▪ December 2008: Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White and linebacker Keith Bulluck stomped on a Towel after the Titans beat the Steelers 31-14 in Week 16, a victory which made Tennessee the #1 seed for the AFC playoffs. In their final regular-season game the following week, the Titans were shut out by the Colts, 23-0. They then fell to Baltimore in the first round of the playoffs.
After the Pittsburgh game, Titans player Michael Griffin attempted some damage control, but the Towel doesn't forget.
▪ January 26, 2009: At the airport send-off for the Cardinals, Phoenix mayor Phil Gordon blew his nose into a Terrible Towel, stomped on it, then handed it to the Cardinals' mascot Big Red, who wiped his wingpits with it. Gordon later apologized, but the Towel was having none of it.You know the results.
▪ The Steelers' record in the 43-plus years before the Terrible Towel is 230-299-20 (.435), with four playoff victories and one Super Bowl. In the 33-plus years since the Terrible Towel's conception, the team's record is 336-222-1 (.602), with 24 playoff victories and five Super Bowls.
▪ The Towel has its own extensive Wikipedia entry.
▪ In the words of Myron Cope, of blessed memory:
▪ Randy Baumann, of Pittsburgh's radio station WDVE, created this musical cautionary tale. Great photos in here of the Towel all over the world. (The jet fighter at 2:34 is so cool.)
▪ The Curse Of The Terrible Towel
a poem by Dave Crawley
There is power, they say, in the towels that wave.
Like black and gold shrouds on the visitor's grave.
It's a mojo opponents should never neglect.
The Terrible Towel requires respect.
Then this! A deed unspeakably foul!
The Tennessee Titans defiles the towel!
Although their crass actions made Steeler fans wince,
You'll notice that Titan team hasn't won since.
They lost to the Colts. Then the Ravens came in,
A game Tennessee was expected to win.
But the curse of the towel gave Tennessee shakes,
As they sank in a series of stunning mistakes.
Our Black and Gold guys had a much different story.
Santonio Holmes led the gallop to glory.
Fast Willie scored, and the Steelers were winning.
For the Chargers the torment was only beginning.
Third quarter. Alas, on the Bolts' only play,
Foote gives them the boot, and he takes it away.
The towels were twirling as Ben let it go,
And the much maligned offense was starting to flow.
That towel brings sorcery into the fray.
If you don't believe it, well, check out this play.
To add to the Chargers' grim feelings of dread,
A punt that careened off this poor fellow's head.
The message, of course, as we hooted with glee,
From the Terrible Towel: Do not tread on me.
A word to the Ravens. The moment draws nigh.
This is the reason you're still flying high.
The Titans besmirched it, and now to our glee
They will be watching this game on TV.
As you enter the confines where Steeler fans howl:
Beware of the curse of the Terrible Towel.
Before we start, class, please review this story at the New York Times, so that you fully understand the Karma behind the Terrible Towel.
For Terrible Towels, A Wonderful Legacyby John Branch
Now let us begin.
▪ September 2008: Ravens receiver Derrick Mason stomped on a Towel before a Week 4 matchup televised on Monday Night Football. Baltimore lost all three of its 2008-season games against Pittsburgh, including the AFC championship game, where the Steelers earned their berth to Super Bowl XLIII.▪ December 2008: Tennessee Titans running back LenDale White and linebacker Keith Bulluck stomped on a Towel after the Titans beat the Steelers 31-14 in Week 16, a victory which made Tennessee the #1 seed for the AFC playoffs. In their final regular-season game the following week, the Titans were shut out by the Colts, 23-0. They then fell to Baltimore in the first round of the playoffs.
After the Pittsburgh game, Titans player Michael Griffin attempted some damage control, but the Towel doesn't forget.
▪ January 26, 2009: At the airport send-off for the Cardinals, Phoenix mayor Phil Gordon blew his nose into a Terrible Towel, stomped on it, then handed it to the Cardinals' mascot Big Red, who wiped his wingpits with it. Gordon later apologized, but the Towel was having none of it.You know the results.
▪ The Steelers' record in the 43-plus years before the Terrible Towel is 230-299-20 (.435), with four playoff victories and one Super Bowl. In the 33-plus years since the Terrible Towel's conception, the team's record is 336-222-1 (.602), with 24 playoff victories and five Super Bowls.
▪ The Towel has its own extensive Wikipedia entry.
▪ In the words of Myron Cope, of blessed memory:
"The towel is a positive force that lifts the Steelers to magnificent heights, and poses mysterious difficulties for the Steelers' opponents only if need be."
▪ Randy Baumann, of Pittsburgh's radio station WDVE, created this musical cautionary tale. Great photos in here of the Towel all over the world. (The jet fighter at 2:34 is so cool.)
▪ The Curse Of The Terrible Towel
a poem by Dave Crawley
There is power, they say, in the towels that wave.
Like black and gold shrouds on the visitor's grave.
It's a mojo opponents should never neglect.
The Terrible Towel requires respect.
Then this! A deed unspeakably foul!
The Tennessee Titans defiles the towel!
Although their crass actions made Steeler fans wince,
You'll notice that Titan team hasn't won since.
They lost to the Colts. Then the Ravens came in,
A game Tennessee was expected to win.
But the curse of the towel gave Tennessee shakes,
As they sank in a series of stunning mistakes.
Our Black and Gold guys had a much different story.
Santonio Holmes led the gallop to glory.
Fast Willie scored, and the Steelers were winning.
For the Chargers the torment was only beginning.
Third quarter. Alas, on the Bolts' only play,
Foote gives them the boot, and he takes it away.
The towels were twirling as Ben let it go,
And the much maligned offense was starting to flow.
That towel brings sorcery into the fray.
If you don't believe it, well, check out this play.
To add to the Chargers' grim feelings of dread,
A punt that careened off this poor fellow's head.
The message, of course, as we hooted with glee,
From the Terrible Towel: Do not tread on me.
A word to the Ravens. The moment draws nigh.
This is the reason you're still flying high.
The Titans besmirched it, and now to our glee
They will be watching this game on TV.
As you enter the confines where Steeler fans howl:
Beware of the curse of the Terrible Towel.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
LYRICS: Stairway To Seven, Steelers D, Tomlin Song
My traffic is way down from last week (not a surprise), but a lot of the hits I'm still getting are people searching for the lyrics to these wonderful Rich Banks covers. I've had the song links up for a while (see the sidebar at right, there are both streamers and download links), but I haven't typed up the lyrics till now. Here are all three.
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Stairway To Seven
to the tune of Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven
performed by Rich Banks
By the Three Rivers shores
A team wears black and gold
With a QB who wears number seven
From the days of Chuck Noll
Jack Lambert and Mean Joe
The Lombardi Trophy's what we play for
Oooh Oooh
Bradshaw's throwing a touchdown to Lynn Swann
There's a feeling I get
When I drive the Parkway West
With snow falling it's playoff season
In Heinz Field I have seen
Golden towels all waving
And the voices of those screaming 'De-fense'
Oooh Polamalu
Ooooooh Troy Polamalu
Now there's a tussle with the Ravens
And it's gonna snow
Beat them and go and win that sixth ring
Steel Curtain's blitzing for Joe Flacco
Thanks to Dick LeBeau
Noll, Cowher, and now Coach Tomlin
Yes there are two teams that are playing
But in the long run
One's a lame bird and one's a Champion
And as we wind on down the road
Towards the Tampa Super Bowl
Mel Blount, Jack Ham, and Franco
Make way for Hines, Willie, and Santonio
Here we go Steelers here we go
And if you listen very hard
You'll hear the voice of Myron Cope
Steelers fans both young and old
Not black or white but Black and Gold
And our QB wears the number seven
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Steelers D
to the tune of AC/DC's T.N.T.
performed by Rich Banks
Yoi yoi yoi and double yoi, yoi yoi yoi
Kiesel, Hampton, Aaron Smith, and Hoke
Taylor, Clark, and Forty-Three
Out to make opponents bleed
Go ask Willis McGahee
Woodley to the left of James
And Silverback to his right
We don't need a gun
Don't need a knife
To beat the sissy Cards in a fight
It's the
Steelers D
Steel Curtain time
Steelers D
Warner's gonna cry
Steelers D
Arizona's doomed
Steelers D
Edge James needs a hospital room
They're dirty, mean, best you ever seen
They'll hurt you bad
Arizona, this ain't gonna be fun
Understand?
So lock up Kurt Warner
Hide your O-line
Just stay in Phoenix
Or you'll get last rites
The Curtain's back in town
And Arizona's goin' down
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
The Tomlin Song
to the tune of Kenny Rogers's The Gambler
performed by Rich Banks
In the winter of '07
Dan Rooney lost Coach Cowher
So he sat down with Mike Tomlin
After Whisenhunt and Grimm
No one gave Mike a shot 'cause
The others knew the Rooneys
But Tomlin overwhelmed Dan
With all that he told him
Mike said "Sir, I've made a life
Out of coaching lots of ball games
And I know how to beat up
The Browns, Ravens, and Cinci"
Rooney passed up on the favorites
And took a chance on Tomlin
And just two seasons later
He's coaching for a ring
You got to know when to blitz 'em
Know when to Max Protect
Know when to Cover 2
Know when to run
You never count your rings
When you're standin' on the sidelines
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the beating's done
On the eve of the Super Bowl
His players lookin' for inspiration
And that Cards offense lookin' scary
Tomlin's words were bold
"Arizona's just a team
While we represent a Nation
It don't matter if you're black or white
Just that you're Black and Gold"
And when Tomlin's team had won
He turned back towards the Three Rivers
Folded up his Terrible Towel
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
Dan Rooney's still the genius
'Cause in the wake of Tampa Stadium
He found a sixth ring he could keep
You got to know when to blitz 'em
Know when to Max Protect
Know when to Cover 2
Know when to run
You never count your rings
When you're standin' on the sidelines
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the Cards are done
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Stairway To Seven
to the tune of Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven
performed by Rich Banks
By the Three Rivers shores
A team wears black and gold
With a QB who wears number seven
From the days of Chuck Noll
Jack Lambert and Mean Joe
The Lombardi Trophy's what we play for
Oooh Oooh
Bradshaw's throwing a touchdown to Lynn Swann
There's a feeling I get
When I drive the Parkway West
With snow falling it's playoff season
In Heinz Field I have seen
Golden towels all waving
And the voices of those screaming 'De-fense'
Oooh Polamalu
Ooooooh Troy Polamalu
Now there's a tussle with the Ravens
And it's gonna snow
Beat them and go and win that sixth ring
Steel Curtain's blitzing for Joe Flacco
Thanks to Dick LeBeau
Noll, Cowher, and now Coach Tomlin
Yes there are two teams that are playing
But in the long run
One's a lame bird and one's a Champion
And as we wind on down the road
Towards the Tampa Super Bowl
Mel Blount, Jack Ham, and Franco
Make way for Hines, Willie, and Santonio
Here we go Steelers here we go
And if you listen very hard
You'll hear the voice of Myron Cope
Steelers fans both young and old
Not black or white but Black and Gold
And our QB wears the number seven
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Steelers D
to the tune of AC/DC's T.N.T.
performed by Rich Banks
Yoi yoi yoi and double yoi, yoi yoi yoi
Kiesel, Hampton, Aaron Smith, and Hoke
Taylor, Clark, and Forty-Three
Out to make opponents bleed
Go ask Willis McGahee
Woodley to the left of James
And Silverback to his right
We don't need a gun
Don't need a knife
To beat the sissy Cards in a fight
It's the
Steelers D
Steel Curtain time
Steelers D
Warner's gonna cry
Steelers D
Arizona's doomed
Steelers D
Edge James needs a hospital room
They're dirty, mean, best you ever seen
They'll hurt you bad
Arizona, this ain't gonna be fun
Understand?
So lock up Kurt Warner
Hide your O-line
Just stay in Phoenix
Or you'll get last rites
The Curtain's back in town
And Arizona's goin' down
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
Steelers D
Yoi Yoi Yoi
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
The Tomlin Song
to the tune of Kenny Rogers's The Gambler
performed by Rich Banks
In the winter of '07
Dan Rooney lost Coach Cowher
So he sat down with Mike Tomlin
After Whisenhunt and Grimm
No one gave Mike a shot 'cause
The others knew the Rooneys
But Tomlin overwhelmed Dan
With all that he told him
Mike said "Sir, I've made a life
Out of coaching lots of ball games
And I know how to beat up
The Browns, Ravens, and Cinci"
Rooney passed up on the favorites
And took a chance on Tomlin
And just two seasons later
He's coaching for a ring
You got to know when to blitz 'em
Know when to Max Protect
Know when to Cover 2
Know when to run
You never count your rings
When you're standin' on the sidelines
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the beating's done
On the eve of the Super Bowl
His players lookin' for inspiration
And that Cards offense lookin' scary
Tomlin's words were bold
"Arizona's just a team
While we represent a Nation
It don't matter if you're black or white
Just that you're Black and Gold"
And when Tomlin's team had won
He turned back towards the Three Rivers
Folded up his Terrible Towel
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
Dan Rooney's still the genius
'Cause in the wake of Tampa Stadium
He found a sixth ring he could keep
You got to know when to blitz 'em
Know when to Max Protect
Know when to Cover 2
Know when to run
You never count your rings
When you're standin' on the sidelines
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the Cards are done
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Somebody At Comcast Doesn't Like The Cardinals
Lots of tantalizing news blurbs about this "isolated malicious act" in the last couple of days, but this post at TMZ.com has the video. [NSFW - Not Safe For Work!] The really naughty bits are blacked out, but you still can see what those lucky Tucson-area standard-def Comcast customers got to see for 30 seconds, right after Kurt Warner went long (ahem) to Larry Fitzgerald in the 4th quarter, giving Arizona their only, and short-lived, lead.
Even TMZ's title is great:
[Addendum, 2/5/09, 16:25 ... if you're really brave, here's the video without the blacked-out bits. Extremely NSFW! The FCC is apparently going to look into this, or the Justice Department, if the FCC doesn't have jurisdiction since it was cable and not broadcast. My, my.]
Even TMZ's title is great:
Porn Clip Penetrates Super Bowl BroadcastI almost embedded the video clip here, but no, just go to TMZ and look at it. My monkeyboys visit my blog, I gotta keep things kid-friendly here.
[Addendum, 2/5/09, 16:25 ... if you're really brave, here's the video without the blacked-out bits. Extremely NSFW! The FCC is apparently going to look into this, or the Justice Department, if the FCC doesn't have jurisdiction since it was cable and not broadcast. My, my.]
Postgame: Monday Morning Quarter-Groundhog
Punxsutawney Phil's a member of the Nation, even if he was a day late with his Super Bowl prediction. His weather forecast was a downer, so I guess he needed something to win back the crowd.
Only thing missing is Bill Murray.
KeithSrakocic/AP
Only thing missing is Bill Murray.
Super Graphics #2
Kurt Snibbe draws "Sportoons" for ESPN's Page 2. This is just the last frame of his Super Bowl XLIII Recap. You should go check out the whole thing, it's excellent. You'll have to remember some of the commercials to get all the funny bits - you can replay those at YouTube's AdBlitz.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Super Graphics #1
Postgame: Ryan Parker Sings Of Sixburgh
There's still a ton of quality stuff around the Net that I didn't have time to get to before the game. I'll keep at it for a while, even though my hit count has pretty much cratered already. Ah that fickle bitch, popularity.
Ryan Parker writes and sings wonderful little sports parodies. He's got a zillion of 'em, cross-referenced by topic, posted at his site www.ryanparkersongs.com. He's a Bengals fan, so the following homage-paying ballads must not have been easy for him. The man deserves credit for having class.
The lyrics are posted at the pages I've linked to in the titles. Last time I checked, the Sixburgh video was slow to load, presumably due to high demand. Your patience will be rewarded. The second video I just love. Ryan, you can have your citizenship in the Nation any time you want it. Welcome.
Pittsburgh, Can I Be A Steeler? (September 18, 2008)
Ryan Parker writes and sings wonderful little sports parodies. He's got a zillion of 'em, cross-referenced by topic, posted at his site www.ryanparkersongs.com. He's a Bengals fan, so the following homage-paying ballads must not have been easy for him. The man deserves credit for having class.
The lyrics are posted at the pages I've linked to in the titles. Last time I checked, the Sixburgh video was slow to load, presumably due to high demand. Your patience will be rewarded. The second video I just love. Ryan, you can have your citizenship in the Nation any time you want it. Welcome.
Pittsburgh, Can I Be A Steeler? (September 18, 2008)
What A Guy, What A Guy
Ben chats it up with Dave Letterman on Monday night's Late Show. Click on the image to go to KDKA's video player. Don't forget to come back.
"I saw Santonio in the corner and as soon as I let go of it, I saw the defensive back going to get it, and I thought it was intercepted. I thought the game was over. I thought I blew it. And, you know what? He made a heck of a catch, he really did."
Monday, February 02, 2009
Coke Ads: 30 Years Apart
Sunday, February 01, 2009
WELCOME TO SIXBURGH PA
Second Half Live Notes
▪ big hit on boldin
▪ catch the bastard geez
▪ troy still aint showed up yet
▪ roy's workin the blk+gold dreadlock mojo (this is a guy at my party, not on the tv)
▪ stupid chains
▪ sean badcall brick losers losers losers (another party person)
▪ pick city review
▪ moon car on blocks! 'no ones safe'
▪ WTF moose ass!
▪ forward motion?? nope incomplete
▪ scottish accent horse funny
▪ willie slips
▪ hines situation he's my jersey guy matching white 86
▪ throw it away ben ROUGHING!
▪ willie goes down again ARIANS BOZO
▪ SANTONIO
▪ we neeeeeeeeeed a td
▪ heath bar! whatta block
▪ ahh willie sigh
▪ drop, heath
▪ settle for 3 - persfoul on HOLDER HAHAHAHA
▪ HAVE TO GET THIS TD
▪ aaiiieee whew out of bounds
▪ arrrggghhh redzone ARIANS BOZO BOZO
▪ got what we woulda got anyway but a huge wasted gift
▪ punch a baby koala
▪ animated bugs ad for coke, sweet!
▪ more completions argh
▪ troy IS doing his job not letting larry get the ball downfield - sorry troy hon for doubting
▪ turturro heineken WTF?
▪ holding holding can't stop harrison
▪ where is polamalu coke ad dammit?
▪ boink troy
▪ troys assignment: take larry outta this game just do it
▪ local upmc ad? local spot?
▪ flag city cripes they can't play without holding
▪ sack ben ouch punt
▪ TROY COKE AD ROFLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL fabulous
▪ theyre still catching passes
▪ EAT CLOCK EAT CLOCK
▪ 9:30 left......
▪ def holding shit
▪ 1st & goal DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
▪ timeout pgh
▪ not in yet, az
▪ td shit we gotta eeeeeat clock
▪ 20-14 sports fans
▪ cerebral gelatinizing hulu!! an evil plot to destroy the world toooo funny Alec Baldwin
▪ gettin testy
▪ 7:25 to goooooo need points
▪ sackeroo ben our o-line bites
▪ pass out to heath not enough
▪ punt to 25 D gotta win it here kids
▪ macgruber pepsi ad stupid even tho I like pepsi over coke
▪ get the ball D
▪ flag taylor bullshit
▪ 5 mins to go
▪ wheres the flag
▪ theres a flag these guys hold like shit
▪ cloooooose troy broke it up
▪ almost picked again
▪ this play major
▪ this is it: INCOMPLETE BABY
▪ punt 2 flags yard and a half penalty sheesh
▪ 3:26
▪ what is going on at the goal line
▪ nerve racking
▪ WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
▪ zebrashit
▪ breathe people
▪ incomplete
▪ NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
▪ i cant type this shit
▪ hard to beat the zebras
▪ 2minwarning
▪ go daddy REALLY SUCKS
▪ 1stdown
▪ 1stdown
▪ jeffreedstoe
▪ 2nd and 6
▪ why a timeout dipshit arians
▪ overthrow santonio
▪ im having a heart attack
▪ SANTONIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
▪ breathe!!!!!
▪ review away you bozos
▪ 27-23
▪ dont let any runbacks boys
▪ :29 they have two timeouts left
▪ damn fast timeout
▪ 15 secs no more timeouts
▪ hail mary time?
▪ warners been taking his helmet off the whole damn game!
▪ FUMBLE!!!!
▪ SIXPACK BABY WELCOME TO SIXBURGH PA!
▪ catch the bastard geez
▪ troy still aint showed up yet
▪ roy's workin the blk+gold dreadlock mojo (this is a guy at my party, not on the tv)
▪ stupid chains
▪ sean badcall brick losers losers losers (another party person)
▪ pick city review
▪ moon car on blocks! 'no ones safe'
▪ WTF moose ass!
▪ forward motion?? nope incomplete
▪ scottish accent horse funny
▪ willie slips
▪ hines situation he's my jersey guy matching white 86
▪ throw it away ben ROUGHING!
▪ willie goes down again ARIANS BOZO
▪ SANTONIO
▪ we neeeeeeeeeed a td
▪ heath bar! whatta block
▪ ahh willie sigh
▪ drop, heath
▪ settle for 3 - persfoul on HOLDER HAHAHAHA
▪ HAVE TO GET THIS TD
▪ aaiiieee whew out of bounds
▪ arrrggghhh redzone ARIANS BOZO BOZO
▪ got what we woulda got anyway but a huge wasted gift
▪ punch a baby koala
▪ animated bugs ad for coke, sweet!
▪ more completions argh
▪ troy IS doing his job not letting larry get the ball downfield - sorry troy hon for doubting
▪ turturro heineken WTF?
▪ holding holding can't stop harrison
▪ where is polamalu coke ad dammit?
▪ boink troy
▪ troys assignment: take larry outta this game just do it
▪ local upmc ad? local spot?
▪ flag city cripes they can't play without holding
▪ sack ben ouch punt
▪ TROY COKE AD ROFLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL fabulous
▪ theyre still catching passes
▪ EAT CLOCK EAT CLOCK
▪ 9:30 left......
▪ def holding shit
▪ 1st & goal DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
▪ timeout pgh
▪ not in yet, az
▪ td shit we gotta eeeeeat clock
▪ 20-14 sports fans
▪ cerebral gelatinizing hulu!! an evil plot to destroy the world toooo funny Alec Baldwin
▪ gettin testy
▪ 7:25 to goooooo need points
▪ sackeroo ben our o-line bites
▪ pass out to heath not enough
▪ punt to 25 D gotta win it here kids
▪ macgruber pepsi ad stupid even tho I like pepsi over coke
▪ get the ball D
▪ flag taylor bullshit
▪ 5 mins to go
▪ wheres the flag
▪ theres a flag these guys hold like shit
▪ cloooooose troy broke it up
▪ almost picked again
▪ this play major
▪ this is it: INCOMPLETE BABY
▪ punt 2 flags yard and a half penalty sheesh
▪ 3:26
▪ what is going on at the goal line
▪ nerve racking
▪ WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
▪ zebrashit
▪ breathe people
▪ incomplete
▪ NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
▪ i cant type this shit
▪ hard to beat the zebras
▪ 2minwarning
▪ go daddy REALLY SUCKS
▪ 1stdown
▪ 1stdown
▪ jeffreedstoe
▪ 2nd and 6
▪ why a timeout dipshit arians
▪ overthrow santonio
▪ im having a heart attack
▪ SANTONIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
▪ breathe!!!!!
▪ review away you bozos
▪ 27-23
▪ dont let any runbacks boys
▪ :29 they have two timeouts left
▪ damn fast timeout
▪ 15 secs no more timeouts
▪ hail mary time?
▪ warners been taking his helmet off the whole damn game!
▪ FUMBLE!!!!
▪ SIXPACK BABY WELCOME TO SIXBURGH PA!
First Half Live Notes
I'm not blogging in real-time, but I kept running notes on my cellphone. Here they are, transcribed verbatim:
▪ dont be an assterisk, steroid PSA way kewl eat that bbonds
▪ conan obrien sweden bud lite lol
▪ mrs potatohead loses her lips
▪ too many movie ads and nbc show pimping
▪ grease monkeys inna gadda da vida
▪ go daddy sucks
▪ 10-0 baby
▪ pepsi for men 'i'm good'
▪ too many budweiser horses
▪ star trek prequel kewl
▪ hit the damn qb
▪ how about some o holding?
▪ troy bad miss
▪ finally an o-hold call 10:28 2nd
▪ wheres the backfield hits?
▪ sheeeit pass coverage
▪ leaping td #89
▪ good run fast willie
▪ 68 kemoeatu holding
▪ encroaching haha
▪ buncha nuttin dump to moore
▪ punt fuck, block in the back on 55
▪ need a f'ing turnover
▪ CHOPBLOCK
▪ SACK BABY FINALLY
▪ time out az 2:59
▪ im sick of etrade babies
▪ e james does sweed hands of stone
▪ punt shoulda fair caught
▪ we need score, 3 aint enough lead, they get ball in 2nd half
▪ BOINK FUCK TIP PICK
▪ talking flowers LOL
▪ 2mins left eat it up
▪ lousy tackle ike
▪ fitzgerald aint getting hit soon enough
▪ where the fuck is f'ing troy?
▪ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pick6baby!!!!!!!!!! silverback def POY
▪ longest play in SB hist he's so gassed
▪ HALFTIME STILLERS 17 DEADRED 7
Halftime show commentary (the music is ongoing as I type this): I saw Springsteen do these songs in NINETEEN EIGHTY ONE. I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THEM ANYMORE.
▪ dont be an assterisk, steroid PSA way kewl eat that bbonds
▪ conan obrien sweden bud lite lol
▪ mrs potatohead loses her lips
▪ too many movie ads and nbc show pimping
▪ grease monkeys inna gadda da vida
▪ go daddy sucks
▪ 10-0 baby
▪ pepsi for men 'i'm good'
▪ too many budweiser horses
▪ star trek prequel kewl
▪ hit the damn qb
▪ how about some o holding?
▪ troy bad miss
▪ finally an o-hold call 10:28 2nd
▪ wheres the backfield hits?
▪ sheeeit pass coverage
▪ leaping td #89
▪ good run fast willie
▪ 68 kemoeatu holding
▪ encroaching haha
▪ buncha nuttin dump to moore
▪ punt fuck, block in the back on 55
▪ need a f'ing turnover
▪ CHOPBLOCK
▪ SACK BABY FINALLY
▪ time out az 2:59
▪ im sick of etrade babies
▪ e james does sweed hands of stone
▪ punt shoulda fair caught
▪ we need score, 3 aint enough lead, they get ball in 2nd half
▪ BOINK FUCK TIP PICK
▪ talking flowers LOL
▪ 2mins left eat it up
▪ lousy tackle ike
▪ fitzgerald aint getting hit soon enough
▪ where the fuck is f'ing troy?
▪ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pick6baby!!!!!!!!!! silverback def POY
▪ longest play in SB hist he's so gassed
▪ HALFTIME STILLERS 17 DEADRED 7
Halftime show commentary (the music is ongoing as I type this): I saw Springsteen do these songs in NINETEEN EIGHTY ONE. I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THEM ANYMORE.
